The One and A Million

I’m beginning to think I’m doomed..

Doomed? You ask?

Yes… Doomed

From what? You respond

Finding a woman, and not just any woman.

One who is genuinely happy, encouraging, warm, affectionate and at peace… And a practicing Christian. But here’s the thing though, does a woman like that even live on earth? A lot of men seem to think not. Recently, I was listening to Eliot Hulse talk about this very type of a woman and my first thought was.

“Yeah, that’s probably not even real, and if it is, it’s probably one out of million.”

But as I have sat with that thought, the question comes to mind: What if waiting for that one and million is worth it? What if, I keep seeking God, bettering myself and wait for God to bring us to each other? That honestly seems so glorious to me.

And I get it too, women are different- very different actually and some are more emotional than others. People have problems, I get it. Yet on a personal level, I’m tired of dating women, in which I’m in store for something different each day. Unsure of what I’ll get. To be fair, some men act like women too and are just as emotional and frankly unstable.

To that I say, you need to start getting your poop in a group and act like a the man that God mad you.

It’s worth the wait, I promise you. And if you don’t find what you’re looking for, can you still be strong, happy and content?           

While You Wait (Thoughts on Relationship)

Relationships are complicated, tricky, frustrating and even heart breaking. And yet at the core of the human experience, we are meant for them. Though not every relationship is romantic, there is deep friendship and  the surface level friendships with people you see once in a while. I was never good at the romantic side of relationships, always saying the wrong things, doing the wrong things and over all going after all the wrong people.

It’s tough to sometimes look back on your history, and think wow, I have quite the string of failed relationships. Many of us have a lot of relational baggage if you will. I didn’t believe that I would every find anyone who would understand me or love me. Of course, my faith offers me great hope, comfort and peace. But still I wanted there to be a person, a human being in my life.

Flesh of my flesh

Bone of my bone.

I’m sure that people reading this can relate on some level or another, there was a season of my life where, my frustration grew at God. Wondering When he would provide some sort of answer to this longing inside me. I didn’t think it was “fair” that everyone else around me was happy and I wasn’t.    

I grew very annoyed with people who kept informing me, that things would happen when I least expected it. But, they were right! There came a point in the journey, where I simply decided to focus on bettering myself and helping others. As time went on, however, as I focused more on myself, pursuing my passions and helping others. I met my girlfriend. We are in a long distance relationship and met through a cerebral palsy group , started talking as friends and the rest is pretty much history.

            The point that I want to get across, is that there is hope. If you like me, long to find a significant other. Give it time, get to know yourself, become the person that you would like to date. Be comfortable in your own skin, love yourself. You and the relationship you enter will be better because of it. I love my girlfriend, so very much. She loves me in all the ways that my heart has always desired. We better each other in a lot of ways, but the one truth that I want to get across is that your significant other is not your savior.

The person you date and or marry, will let you down, frustrate you and maybe even break your heart. Which is why I believe that forgiveness is some vital in any relational context. It is extremely important to love how you want to be loved and forgive as you also want to be forgiven.

Once again, relationships are vital and the very DNA of human existence. But they are not the path the peace we all seek. To assume the reality that one person is going to take all of your sorrows and hardships away, is a sad reality and can lead you down some very destructives paths. As much as it pissed me off to hear, when I was single. Enjoy your singleness while you have, get to know yourself, your likes and dislikes. Really think about the person you want to be with, and the person you want to become. This is how you will begin to find fulfillment in yourself, and how you can only begin to love your significant other as well.