Tag: Special needs

Movement As Blessing

 

I’ve always had the conviction that being able to move your body everyday, is a huge blessing. That conviction has only grown, upon getting my certifications in fitness  and nutrition. I want to ignite the fire and passion for people to love and honor their bodies inside and out.

Exercise can be a huge part in this, but more so, I am speaking toward the reality, that getting to move your body, everyday in small ways is a blessing. Even as I move my fingers to type this blog.

I long to see people with special needs, have a deep zeal everyday, to get themselves out of bed and do what they can to be healthier, happier and stronger. I know everyone has different ranges of ability, energy and so on.

The one objection that stem from this: Well, thats easy for you to say, you don’t.. (fill in the blank).

Actually, along with having CP, I am always in some sort of pain, I’m always tired, a lot of days I have to fight to even get out of bed. And yes, there’re a lot of days where my own struggle with depression beats me down. So I do understand very well.

But here is the deal, life is too much of a blessing to let any of that stuff have victory over me. Even on the days when I don’t want to get out of bed, you know what? I get out of bed. Regardless of the war that may be going on inside me on a giving day, I try and make someones life better.

Jocko Willink talks a lot about going through the motions, going to the gym when you don’t want to. Doing the things you would rather not do, because in doing so you’re better because of it. The moment my eyes open in the morning, I hear Jocko’s voice saying:

GET. OUT. OF BED. NOW!

Do the work you have to do.

Wash the dishes

Wash the clothes

Do the everyday and mundane things you’d rather not do. why!? Because your moving, your using the body that God gave you. Much better, you are forsaking the laziness in your mind, that says “oh no, you don’t have to anything today!”

Now, I’m not implying you can’t rest. What I am saying is that you can rest, after you have gotten everything on your to-do list done. Workout included! There’s something so beautiful about going to bed tired, knowing that you poured yourself out and crushed the day. That’s a wonderful way to live lives!

Then, you can rest and rest deeply.

So wake up everyday, rip the the covers from your body and get moving. Workout, do the mundane tasks (and even your prospective on them will change), better yourself in every way you can, help others and then you can rest deeply. Do what you can everyday, so no to the lazy voice in your head, so that when you rest, you will rest fulfilled.

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Two Realities of CP: Adapting and Stillness

Having lived with Cerebral Palsy for 34 years now, I have come to a few conclusions, however painfully obvious they may be. Allow me to elaborate more in the following paragraphs:

One: I am not “normal” I get it, no one is. But I use crutches to walk around, sometimes a wheel-chair, I scoot down steps (at times) and sometimes I still crawl around. Furthermore, crawling around for me, is sometimes easier, yes others can and do help me and I’m grateful for it. But the reality is, if I can’t carry something in my mouth while walking, well, crawling on the ground while moving something works just great. Again, I know it’s not ideal, or however else one would describe it. But it works for me. I’m not ashamed of it, and it honestly saves my legs some strength and even prevents me for slipping and bonking my face on things.. Which has happened before.  I have come to terms that, some things in life need various levels of adaptation.

When it comes to be a father some day, I might not be able to carry my child in my arms in the middle of the night. Walking them around as most good fathers (and mothers) do, but I can find ways to hold them and other ways of doing things for them. I’m not normal, and I parent or raise my children normal either.  I’m actually very open to this reality and am very excited about discovering what works and what doesn’t in all aspects of my life.   The world most become more open to the realm of possibility, rather than being stuck in the world of impossibility.

My faith in God also plays a huge role in this, because I know that he is faithful and good. Providing all that I need and working everything out for my good (Romans 8:28). It’s learning to trust him, even when I cannot see how things are going to happen, or even understand what God is doing.

Two: I’ve come to terms with the amount of pain that my body is in everyday. Much of the pain, I believe anyway, has much to do with A) getting older and B) the amount of stress I put my body through while in the gym . Both in strength training and Jiujutsu. Again, I’m ok with this, I do the very best I can to combat the daily aches, pains and stiffness . Yet no matter, what anyone does it’s going to be there in some degree. In many respects, I’ve come to a place where I am at peace with the pain. Meaning, I know it’s there, but it will not be the defining factor of my life.  I will not allow it to stop me from being the person that God has destined me to be. This is not to say, that I don’t have days where the darkness sets in, in much thicker shades. They do, yet I have the greatest light in times of darkness, and the deepest anchor in times of trouble.

In conclusion: Not one of us is “normal” whatever that means anyway. Each of us, how are only problems, worries and battles we fight on a daily basis. Life is hard, but that is no reason to quit, we keep an open mind to how we can greater adapt with the circumstances that life throws at us. Lastly, we learn to make peace with the contexts that we find ourselves in, but that doesn’t mean that we become complacent in the fight. No, we keep fighting and moving forward. We teach ourselves to become more resilient and adaptable in the fight. We find joy, hope, wonder in the bleakest of circumstances. If not, we will die a quicker death emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Which is reality that is all too often easily accepted.

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Cerebral Palsy. Body Image and Internal Healing.

I’m starting to see a correlation between cerebral palsy and body image, this correlation stems from being in contact with numerous people who live with cerebral palsy through social media. In this particular regard, I’m speaking about having a negative self image.

You may look at the image of me below, and not think that I am “fat” all, but when I look at myself. That is what I see.

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When I look at the sides of my stomach, I think “Ugh gross” then I start thinking or obsessing over what I eat and upping the intensity of my daily workouts. Which is not a bad thing at all. It is a problem though, when you are in the middle of your workout and you can’t stop dwelling on how disgusting you feel and look.

I posted that above photo on instagram a few weeks ago, lots of people said that I looked great, or that we all had those feelings, or even “that’s just skin!” The comments were heart warming and helped me to think more positively.. For awhile, but then I would find myself in the downward spiral of self destruction and sabotage.

My workouts have consisted of lots of burpees, probably two-four hundred every single day. Along with Kettle and Bar Bell lifting. I sweat a lot, recover well but am utterly hungry the rest of the day.  Nor am I afraid of eating my carbs, protein and Beer… My one beer after work.

The engine is constantly stoked, and I’m constantly pushing my mind and body.. But there is this area of my life, that needs change. I’m tried all the thought stopping methods, all the positive affirmations etc. And still nothing helps the crap shoot stop.

After CF today, I came home, ate and then went to wash my stinky self. There I was, looking at my body with contempt. And then I thought, “this has to stop!” Truly the only thing that gets me through life is my faith. So after redirecting my thoughts back to it, I whispered to God:

“God, you don’t want me to hate my body, I know that. Help me to see myself differently, as you do.” At that moment, something clicked on inside of me. I’m not saying that you have to do, as I do, that is something that you have to decide and work through for yourself.

What I am saying though, is that these destructive thinking has to stop, or at least be put in its rightful place. A vast majority of therapists would saying that working out is killing me, and steer me away from it as they would most addictions. But I don’t think that that is the end all be all solution.

Yes, some things might need to change, or pause. But this is less a physical issue, and more a mental, emotional and spiritual issue. And until those issues heal, nothing we change the way we long for.

So! We have to understand that this is going to be a long journey, with plenty of ups and downs and twists and turns. We have to accept where we are at. I know that this is something that will not want to be heard, you might spend lots of time in a wheel chair, and be on lots of meds. Okay, we can work with that, the fact is that we cannot give up.

There are plenty of exercises that can be done from a seated position, plenty of ways to even build stamina too. I should get on making videos regarding these topics. Yet the biggest component is learning to take care of ourselves from a place of love and not so much a “I have to” but an “I want to” there’s a huge difference.

Change your forward thinking: Think less on your image, and think more about prolonged health, mobility, strength and focus. So that we can be the strongest version of ourselves, not so much for ourselves but for others.

The internal healing is more tangible than we believe, more closer than we think. Much like any medicine though, it takes time for the benefits to show up, but rest assured. Through discipline and diligence change will come.

Blessings!

-Brandon

 

 

 

 

My Heart for The Special Needs Community- And The Real Problem

As a person who has lived with cerebral palsy for thirty-two years, my heart has in particular gone out to those with special needs. Be it mental or physical, I can remember being in junior high and asking for permission to leave my last class, just so I could go down to the special needs classroom and help in any way that I could.

I loved these kids, I’ll never forget how some of their faces would light up whenever I would come into the classroom. It saddened me that they had to have their own classroom away from the rest of the school, but that’s another entry all in itself. These kids were like my own, they were a part of me it seemed. It takes people with big and calm hearts to work with them because it can be very taxing mentally and physically.

I have always felt protective of these people, and probably will until the day I die. In the last few days, I have lost my mind over the fact that four black young adults kidnapped a white man with special needs, they beat and toured him. All because he apparently supported Donald trump. I was angry and wanted to get my hands on each person involved.

Personally, I think that the book should be thrown at them, the same way the book SHOULD have been thrown and the two white idiots that assaulted a young man with special needs and happened to be black. Both sides should have had equal consequence, but being that we live in a fallen world, our justice system does not run as well oiled as it should and that truly frustrates me.

As human beings, created in the image of God (Genesis 1) we should rage against this evil acts regardless of political, racial, social and sexual orientation. Quite simply, there should be the same reaction of disgust from either side, not finding ways to lessen what was done in the name of hate. Furthermore, CNN should be ashamed of themselves for allow reporter Sara Ganim to laugh at what was done to the white young man with special needs. Shame on you CNN!

American people wake the fuck up! Our actions on either side are only making this country worse.  When are we going to stop fighting against each other? When are we going to come to the realization that political and social issues are only a smokescreen for the real problem, our hearts?

The sooner we realize this the better.. But until we do, we will continually be sucked deeper and deeper into ourselves.

 

 

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Disabled Girl VS TSA, My Thoughts

As a person living with cerebral palsy, I naturally see myself as an advocate for others living with it and others with various special/adaptive needs. Often times this means that a vast majority of my time is spent empowering others to live the fullest and richest lives possible.

On the other hand, being an advocate also means that I speak out against injustice. So when the story of a 19-year-old disabled girl being tackled by the TSA started making waves, my anger arose quickly (link here:), this young woman was traveling with her mother and had just finished her last treatment for a brain tumor.  On top of undergoing treatment for a brain tumor, she was also said to be partially blind and deaf.

Now, though I have never had to go through treatment for any sort of tumor, by the grace of God. I would assume that this woman was wiped out from treatment and simply wanted to go home. If I’m wrong please correct me. But as the story plays out, the mother and daughter had made this same trip numerous times before. And never did they experience any difficulty. This time around, however, it was a different story, the young woman apparently set off a metal detector and was also confused by a search that was being conducted by TSA agents.

The mother tried to explain to TSA agents of her daughter’s conditions, it appeared that they simply had little regard for what the mother was trying to communicate to them, so when they daughter apparently tried “runny away” TSA guards tackled the young woman to the ground, as a result the young woman hit her head on the ground causing her head to split open.

Others have commented that the picture of the accident  is worse than it seems, that people like myself are blowing things out of context. The fact is the only response that TSA has at the moment, is that people with various needs can call ahead of time. The only  problem is that her mother stated that she did inform TSA, she even informed agents as things began to get a bit chaotic.

In my opinion, this whole situation could have been avoided, if TSA actually took into consideration what the mother was trying to communicate about her daughter’s needs. If they were still unclear of how to handle the situation, they could have easily made contact with a supervisor to gain further clarity… Instead, this tragedy had to happen. What upset me the most, is as a physically challenged person and someone who has flown a good amount, I have never had any problems with the TSA, they have always been professional and as kind as they can be.

I cannot even think of another time in history where something of this nature happened before. I believe that the biggest lessons that can be gleaned from this situation is communication. In that even if the mother didn’t inform TSA ahead of time and simply told them at the gate, something still could have been done that would have allowed for things to be handled in a sensitive manner.

This is in my opinion uncalled for regardless of what angle one chooses to spin it on. There must be firm consequences.

 

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