A Letter To A Fellow Warrior

The following post, is a letter that I wrote to a dear friend of mine, who also has cerebral palsy. Though much worse than myself. Like a lot of men with CP, he feels alone and wrestles with the desires. The point behind this letter, was to remind me of who he was, despite the circumstances that he found himself in:

Brother,
Thank you for your message, it truly meant a lot to me, in a few ways. In one regard, your struggles are my struggles. Not being able to leave the house much, work, feeling alone. Those are all things that my heart connects with as well. And as mentioned to you before, the battle is sometimes hourly and daily. I connect tell you how many times the thought has surfaced in my mind:
Is any woman ever going to love me for me? I know that questions must echo loudly in your mind, as it does many others with cerebral palsy and other disabilities, regardless of gender. Now, myself having only dated a few women, sometimes things just aren’t what we think their meant to be. I’m in no way trying to give you a platitude, it’s just a cold hard reality of life that we men need to learn to accept. With every interest or relationship, the question speaks out from my inner life: is this person the one that’s going to stay? And when I say stay, it’s the until death do us part way.
The great CS Lewis, was only married to his wife for a short time, before losing his beloved wife to illness. The very death of his wife, appeared that there was enough weight behind it to crush the very soul of Lewis. Think about that for a bit, he must have felt intense despair, and felt utterly alone in the universe. He very well might have had so heated conversations with God himself. I say all this, to share with you, that no matter how long a woman or even dog is with us, they were never meant to complete. Never. And shame on us humans to even believe that another person might actually make us whole.
I’ve known you awhile my friend, and I know you are a good man with an amazing heart. A man that actual has purpose, talent and immense value. The question is my brother, do you know that in yourself? Do you know what the creator of the cosmos thinks and believes of you? Do you know how madly he loves you? Do you know that he calls you friend and beloved? These realities, though they are true for all who are in Christ. They are in (in a sense) even more important to men like us, men like us who physically can’t drive. Men, who are good hearted men, with good intentions, and would like to leave a dent in the world and because of the severity of your disability and because you a bit heavier on the care of others. It makes things all the more challenging and difficult. The average person, would rage against our situations, and yes it sucks a lot. But you and I, belong to the king of the universe first and foremost. His son Jesus, made us his own before the foundation of the world. That should matter more than anything.
The other reason your message stuck out to me, was that it reaffirmed in me another of a mission in life, and that is other men like us. There’s many like you and me, who wrestle with the same thing, who cannot readily go out and be the typical man that some women want. I feel as though, God wants me to be a kind of coach, that helps men like us discover Gods mad love, to secure in themselves, learn to navigate the inner emotions of life and discover purpose/mission in life. My prayer for men like us, is that we would be sure of our standing with God, that we would live a stoic life, where we are not needlessly emotional and are ravaged by desire and that we are dependent on no one to fill our emotional, mental and spiritual cups. To be okay with being alone. Simply because you have a severity of CP, that leaves you in need of more personal care. Does not make you less of a man. Let me say that again my friend, you are not less of a man.
God has made you man, my brother, and as such you are a warrior poet. Though your body may not be able to be physically strong. Your mind and soul can be like a mighty fortress. You can learn to armor up and fight off the enemies attacks. God has given you a mind, and a mouth, you may not be able to use your hands very well, but you are smart and as such you can use the tools that you do have. Rather than being caught up in what you don’t. I must preach these truths to myself as well, daily, weekly and even hourly. I write this letter to you to awaken the warrior within you. It’s there. God breathed that inside you. Scripture says that you are more valued than the sparrow, and if they trust that God will feed them, can you? I implore you my dear friend, to throw your being at the heart of God, seek first his kingdom and all other things will be added to you. Life is not over, it’s still beautiful get into the battle my brave friend, brother and warrior.

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Thoughts on Trauma Part 1: Healing first

The other night there was a lot of reflection being done, there I was sipping my whiskey. Depression set in mildly during the day, so that probably didn’t help. But in my reflection, the concept of trauma surfaced to my attention.   Trauma (in various compacities) is something that many of us deal with. I’m no stranger to trauma, as having cerebral palsy and all the pain that I’ve had to endure because of it, has left it’s finger prints on me. My first operation, I can remember being brought back to the pre-op room, there my parents had to leave to go to the waiting area.

What honestly went through my mind as a child, was that I was being abandoned.  Sure, that fear and panic produced an irrational fear. But the point is these moments in my childhood, had a great effect on most of my life. As mentioned before, a lot of us have our own trauma. Some more severe than others. What that should do then, is that should give humans grounds to show empathy and connect with one another. Healing comes in simple form when we can say the words “Me Too” to quote Rob Bell from his book Velvet Elvis. When we are willing to be vulnerable, that is when I believe God truly begins to heal us. The most profound lesson that I’ve ever had the privilege of learning, is that we cannot heal on our own.    

We need to confess that we have a problem, that we cannot conquer it on our own, and that we need God to work in us by his grace and community to walk along side us. Even those of us who try and white knuckle our way towards healing eventually get burnt out by trying so hard. Of course, this takes a lot of humility, gumption and inner bravery to admit any of this. Again, people wear masks (no pun intended), we try and appear as though we don’t need help and do things on our own. And while a fair amount of self-sufficiency is great, no man- woman is an island to themselves.    

 It took me such a long time to face my own trauma in my life, more often than not when I thought I was making progress, the fear and panic only seemed to get louder as time went on. Confusion set in , and the thought came to my mind “why am I not getting any better?”  

“Why am I still so afraid?” And the answer, for me anyhow, was that I was still looking to people to save me from my trauma, to save me from myself. Well  meaning people can help and provide wisdom and some comfort. But only God can heal us and give us the peace we crave. So, in this moment, I deeply want to you to know that God loves your more than any other person on earth could. You are not so far down the road, that you are out of his reach. It’s ok to admit you need help, not only from God but from others. You have purpose to complete with your life, and someone else can benefit from your own story. Go fourth today, knowing that the past doesn’t define who you are.

   

Why Was I Made This Way? (For His Love)

As Jesus passed by, He saw a man who had been blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

I’ve been reading through the book of John once again, and this small text from chapter 9 always jumps out at me. Being born with cerebral palsy, the question always came out of my mouth” why did God make me this way. A step further, and we see that people that don’t even believe in God ask this question as well.

A soft answer to the question from various people is “God made you special” or “you’re this way for a reason”. The second answer, has more explanation to the question. In verse three, Jesus says that it was neither the man who sinned, or his parents. But the man was born blind that that works of glory of God might be displayed through him. Admittedly, in the early stages of my life, this kind of answer would be something that I’d blow off as BS.

However, when my very being understood how much God loved me, even in spite of having cerebral palsy. It was only then that the shame began to melt away from my life. I began to love all the scars on my body from surgeries, I began to love my right hand, which does not have full dexterity.

It truly breaks my heart to see others like myself, wrestle with the same self- hatred that I did for my life. And at times it still pops up in my mind, which is why it is of deep importance to fixate on the love of God daily. The scars that we hate, the hand that we wish were different, are the same scars and hands are the very same ones that God loves so deeply.

Getting to this point, is not an easy venture. It really never ends until we see Christ face to face in eternity. You will stumble, and wrestle with different thoughts and temptations daily. Some days the sun will shine brighter, and sometimes the darkness will seem as though it has sealed any light from coming in.

Once again, if we allow ourselves to go into strict training, in dwelling on Gods mad love for us. We then will understand that his love will hold us through in an all tribulation in life. If you have never thought about Gods love, and much he loves you. I encourage you to do so today, it doesn’t have to be some super religious experience. All you have to do is talk to him, be honest, tell him that you are tired of living as you have been, that you need his forgiveness and grace and make you new again from the inside out.

I promise you that he will do that tenfold for you, he will love you in ways you have never imagined.       

A soft answer to the question from various people is “God made you special” or “you’re this way for a reason”. The second answer, has more explanation to the question. In verse three, Jesus says that it was neither the man who sinned, or his parents. But the man was born blind that that works of glory of God might be displayed through him. Admittedly, in the early stages of my life, this kind of answer would be something that I’d blow off as BS.

However, when my very being understood how much God loved me, even in spite of having cerebral palsy. It was only then that the shame began to melt away from my life. I began to love all the scars on my body from surgeries, I began to love my right hand, which does not have full dexterity.

It truly breaks my heart to see others like myself, wrestle with the same self- hatred that I did for my life. And at times it still pops up in my mind, which is why it is of deep importance to fixate on the love of God daily. The scars that we hate, the hand that we wish were different, are the same scars and hands are the very same ones that God loves so deeply.

Getting to this point, is not an easy venture. It really never ends until we see Christ face to face in eternity. You will stumble, and wrestle with different thoughts and temptations daily. Some days the sun will shine brighter, and sometimes the darkness will seem as though it has sealed any light from coming in.

Once again, if we allow ourselves to go into strict training, in dwelling on Gods mad love for us. We then will understand that his love will hold us through in an all tribulation in life. If you have never thought about Gods love, and much he loves you. I encourage you to do so today, it doesn’t have to be some super religious experience. All you have to do is talk to him, be honest, tell him that you are tired of living as you have been, that you need his forgiveness and grace and make you new again from the inside out.

I promise you that he will do that tenfold for you, he will love you in ways you have never imagined.

      

Why I’ve Pretty Much Given Up

On dating…

No, I’m not becoming one of these bitter men that hate women, though there was a time in my life where I was. I’ve grown tired of the search. Online dating is only leading me to dead ends. Most of the demographic are single moms. I have NOTHING against them, all I am going off of is past experience, and based off that I’d rather not go down that road again. Are they all going to be the same? Surely not, but wisdom says when you keep going down the same road, you get the same results.

I’d say that a good 86% of women in the world of online dating, either already have kids and don’t want to have anymore. Or quite simply don’t want to have kids or cannot have them. Which is a different context. It leaves me though, being thirty six and still living with the desire to have kids of my own some day.

The dating world is quite frustrating, because there’s two categories, category one is all the dating tips that one can get from so called experts on YT. But in reality, almost none of it actual works. Then there’s the second category which simply tells a person to simply be themselves. This also is a load a crap!

You know how many times I’ve tried being myself when dating a woman? Lots, and guess what it fails me every single time. Or so I thought, you see being a genuinely nice guy is great as long long as one is actually authentic about. My problem was, I never had the guts to speak my mind even if it meant rocking the boat.

This took me a while to learn, but I’m extremely thankful for learning the lesson none the less. Another part of me feels as though, that I’m simply not in a healthy position to date currently. It really, really, sucks having cerebral palsy and living in your parents house. Though, that hasn’t always been a problem. It sucks to have as a potential road block, though there are plans to move out. But the state of COVID, that’s taken a back seat.

To add to the equation, I simply don’t make the amount of money that women desire a man to have these days. I make my money through the avenues of personal training, writing and teaching self defense. For some reason that last one always gets me a weird look like “you.. teach martial arts… You making money doing that?” Yes, I do, and why that bring a smile to a woman’s face is beyond me. Knowing that he not only knows how to handle himself, but makes others safer too.. But I rest my case.

One might also suggest that I find someone like myself. Been there done that and I’m fairly certain I’d never do it again. I’ve done long distance before as well, and my heart longs for someone I can see and touch in a close radius. Yet, in all of this, there has been a peace and contentment that I never thought I’d find.

I don’t need a woman to make me happy, to have a sense of mission in life. I don’t need a woman to comfort me either. My faith and walk with God has gotten stronger, I like who I am and where I’m going in life. I do want someone to spend my life with though, however I’m simply not sure how it would workout. As mentioned before though, there’s two kinds of people: One says that you gotta go out there and get what one is looking for. And the other says (and which I find appealing) says that only God can bring you a wife.

The reason that I lean toward the second option, is largely because I’ve been on the pursuit before. And my God does it get exhausting quick. To be very blunt, I’m happy not dealing with drama, being happy with me as a person one moment, and then the next being unsure or completely losing it all together.

Is it even possibly to find someone who is fairly balanced out? I don’t know, what I do know is that I’m probably going to piss a few off with my prior statement. Oh well though. I know everyone has their crap and every relationship has problems, but I’m just tired of experiencing what I have over and over again.

Lastly, my parents tell me to stay single, but that is largely because they have their own pain. And my experience is not their own. I’m not really sure where the road will lead me, but I do know this, I am happy and complete. And where ever God leads I’m open to it.

What Does It Mean To Be A High Value Man?

What is a high value man? Better yet, what is a high value person?

There is often a lot talk in the red pill community, in regards to being a high value man. Most of the defining terms for it, consists of having more money and being more appealing in the “sexual market place”. While having more money and physical appeal is not a bad thing, that can’t be all there is.

Moreover, and what I have been very passionate about over the last several months, is how do men like myself become more high value? Even within the context that they find themselves in. For instance, it can be very difficult to go out and meet people, so you are on social media a lot, or dating sites. Maybe no matter how man jobs you’ve applied for you can’t seem to land a job.

Worse yet, maybe you feel as though no one would ever find you attractive and want to be with you. That’s a very rough and defeating place to be. I’ve been there myself and sometimes those thoughts still creep up in my life. What I have discovered though and what has helped me fight off that heavy perspective of myself, is having a radical acceptance of myself.

Now, that in no way means just coasting though life, without making improvements on the self. No, a radical self -acceptance simply means that one recognizes that they are loved, valued, worthy of respect and dignity first. Before going your better half in life. It means being at peace with yourself first, and not relying on someone else to provide you peace and try and “fix you” in some way. As you find a radical acceptance in the self, that should then motivate you to go after a higher calling in life, which could be one of many things. It should motivate you to want to improve yourself in every single way humanly possible. Try losing weight, gaining muscle tone, becoming stronger mentally and emotionally. Getting right with God. This is what it means holistically to be a high value man-person. You can all of these things. You just have to be willing to work at it, every single day. No matter how long it takes!

The Current State of Alpha Males (My Thoughts)

Anyone that has been following my entries for the last few weeks, might notice that I talk about being “Alpha” and reclaiming a sense of manhood. And for me that not only is for myself, but for others like myself that have cerebral palsy or other disabilities. I believe it to be a vital component, that men with cerebral palsy know and understand who they are, that they can be confident and have a deep sense of grounded masculinity. Even if in spite of not being able to accomplish certain “manly tasks” due to certain physical limitations. To be frank, I believe that the church has failed in this way, because they unknowingly focus on the abled-bodied men while sub-consciously passing over those who are disabled.   

I don’t think that Churches do this purposely, but rather they just don’t think about the reality that life just might be different for some other men. Hell, most churches don’t even have distinct ministries for the special needs community. Though, this blog is not to rag on the short comings of the church, but rather to call to attention of the state of “Alpha Men”. To be honest, I’m not really pleased. Most of them seem truly into themselves and only want to put others down. Which isn’t what an alpha male actual does. Why? Because they are secure within themselves that they don’t have to do that. They may firmly disagree with ones take on an issue, but they don’t purposely set out to go put someone else down because it makes them feel better.

Most of the alpha males that I see on the internet, seem to be hell bent on making fun of people that believe in God or subscribe to a religious world view. Which really is no better the new-atheist crusade that emerged several years ago. Again, if claim to be alpha, why seek out to make fun of someone? Why not confidently disagree without being so self-righteous?

Another problem that I have with some alpha males, is the fact that some of them just want short term relationships with women, only to move on to the next. Not me, nope. The most alpha thing a man can do at times is to commit to the right woman. No matter how hard things got. Furthermore, most alpha males are so focused on the physical attraction of a woman, that they put that over the mental-emotional and spiritual aspects of a woman. In my life currently, yes I do want to be with someone I am attracted to. Yet what’s more important for me anyway, is seeing if the woman that I potential want to be with. Is in fact secure in her emotional-mental and spiritual components of her life. Because that will carry over far above anything physical, though I do believe that the physical is an important component as well.

I think there’s room for a new way of A.M. to emerge or at least reforming what an A.M. actually is.. That’ll come in part 2 though!

The Disabled Man- And Manhood

I think that one aspect of manhood (that I am very passionate about) that isn’t talked about much at all. Is the reality of manhood and disability. Over the last several months I’ve seen all kinds of videos on how  to be more of an alpha male and so on. Most of these videos are geared toward abled-bodied men, who can walk, drive and have a very different set of life circumstances than a man with cerebral palsy. Now, this is difficult for me to write, because I confess that I’m not where I want to be in life. I’m thirty-five, almost  thirty-six and I still live in my parents’ house, don’t drive  and don’t work your typical job. As I’ve spent the last several lives trying to live the entrepreneur life, and for the most part I’ve done well for myself. There’s just these two areas of my life, that I have yet to break through in. Sometimes though, this makes me feel like less of a man or less than I could be. Even though, functionally speaking I have a ton to offer. It can be difficult though, simply because some people can’t see past the physical circumstances of ones life. The last woman I dated I can remember her being a bit hesitant early on, because she thought about what it would be like eventually introducing me to her friends. Which really sucks that that is even a reality, but I have to think, how many other men like me are there in the world that feel as I do. Who can sometimes feel like less of a man because they are physically different or have different life circumstances? It’s very numbing to the mind and heart. What happens then, is we stop taking chances in life because of the thoughtful reality that we might never find the physical acceptance that we desire.

What I’ve come to realize though, is that I-we- you still have divine worth regardless of whether or not a person accepts us for who we are or not. And its hardly a reflection on us as it is the other person. Simply because one is not where they want to be either, doesn’t mean that you won’t get there either. It may take someone a longer period of time, but it is still possible. Some people in life are late bloomers, but they still bloom. And I think that is something that needs to be more appreciated in life.   And I think that’s largely because our society wants everything right now.

Growing up my father raised me in the martial arts, which only helped me become a masculine man and warrior. He let me fall, get bumps and bruises. He always told me to stick out my chest when I stood up. And I think that that’s what I want for others like myself, to be strong in every way. Some  may not be able to physically fight like I can. But they can learn to protect their minds and hearts of those they love. I believe that regardless of whether a man is in wheel chair, he should be healthy and fit in as much as he can. Along with cleaning up the nutrition portion of life. I think a man should know how to control his thoughts and emotions. I think a man, should rid himself of the victim mentality. Also, men should learn to control their own lusts-in more ways than one. I think that men need to figure out who they are, what they do and do not want in life. I want to teach men like me to be strong and courageous, even in spite of having different abilities and life circumstances than the next guy. Disabled men truly need this, because lets face it too much life has passed and I haven’t seen anything done about this silent crisis. I believe I’m just the guy to do it.       

How To Be A Bad Ass Human Being

Tips For Being A Bad Ass Human Being

Human beings are amazing, we can do so much with our bodies and minds every single day of our lives. My own existence is something that I simply do not thank God for on a regular. Rather I piss-moan and groan about how much my life sucks. Anyone who knows anything about my own story, knows that the deck was stacked against me. And yet, by the grace of God I have gone onto obtain multiple degrees and certifications. Even though doctors told me I would always be dependent on others, and even though educational professionals told me I didn’t have what it took to attend university. We human beings have forgotten how beautiful our own existence is, we have lost sight of the fact that we can all be bad asses in our own right. So what are a few tips to become that person?

Finding Your Mental Resolve: We don’t like to hear this, but the only way we truly find our resolve, the only we become mentally and emotionally tougher is through hardship and challenges. Some of us have had very tough and painful lives, and because of that, it’s easy to feel defeated and buried under the ashes of life. Yet, we have forgotten that we can rise from those ashes. I am not always a believer of pulling up oneself by their boot straps. Though, at times in life, you will have to do that. Much more I am a believer of being shaped and allowing yourself to be molded and mentored by other people who truly care about you. I am eternally grateful that God gave me parents who not only told me I was strong, but showed me I was. I am also thankful that God let me experience all the suffering in my life. I’m thankful that he led me through the valley of death. Because it made me who I am today. Find the good in your life, face the darkness in your own life, try more and more every day, to not listen to the lies in your mind any longer. Suffering comes for us all, in different ways throughout our lives. As such, we should always have our armor ready when the fight comes, in the name of not being blindsided by an attack. Some of us are so comfortable with our own comfort, that the slightest bit of adversity sends us packing. Learn to be steady and calm and adversity, because the storm always passes.

Enjoy Solitude: This is art form, I have been working on more and more in my life. I have come to love solitude, by myself and without distraction. Some of us are afraid to be alone with our own thoughts, have to always be doing something. But there’s really happiness and healing, in being able to be still, and see what resonates inside us. It’s in the stillness of the night, that we can discover who we are, what we have to work on and where we want to go. It was in the solitude of my heart, that I discovered that the creator of the heavens and earth was drawing me to himself, he was making me a new creation, a strong soldier and a seeker of how he sees me. Get comfortable being your own company, interact with the thoughts in your own mind, no matter how dark and uncomfortable they may be. Get a journey, write things down, it could be a method of healing from trauma, holding yourself accountable for goals. Our biggest problem in society, is that we are constantly seeking information outward and we are not spending enough time discovering who we are and how bad ass we can be. Start seeking solitude today, even if you’re a parent, find time early in the morning, or even for a few minutes before bed. Take stock of your life. You will be better because of it.

Listen To Others: I’ve always been more of a listener than talker, and I honestly like it that way. Listening to others should be pretty self-explanatory, but some of us talk so much and we don’t listen enough. When we do that, we miss out on being teachable. We miss out on exercising empathy and compassion for others, who might be in a time of darkness. With utilizing our ability to listen, rather than speak. We have a better chance at showing others a light covered path to hope.

Become The Healthiest You: This will look different for each person, because we all have different abilities. But we all could be a bit, or even a lot more healthier in our lives. As a personal trainer and nutrition coach, I haven’t worked with a lot of people with different abilities. The reoccurring theme, with working with a wide variety of clients, is that if you commit to the process of getting better each day, with proper nutrition and exercise you will see results. Yes, things take time, but that’s the beauty of it, in that we get to embrace the process and see the small changes gradually. The instant gratification that we crave with our health and the rest of our lives isn’t real. Nutrition and fitness are two categories of life that have been made overall complicated. As a whole, I feel that quite a few us could do much better, by saying no to a lot of processed foods, and yes to more water, protein, and some fruits and vegetables if you like them. (I’m not convinced that we need them and function fully).
In terms of fitness, you don’t always have to have a gym membership. Nor do you have to go balls to wall for hours on end. I did CrossFit for a number of years, and as much as I love it. Not all your workouts have to be that intense to get a good workout in. If you’re new to the world of fitness, I suggest taking a few 10 minute walks every day, (gradually work your way to a jog) while starting to master the push up (even if it’s on your knees) along with other variations and challenges to pushups as you go along. And mastering a good squat form- in different variations, weighted and single legged squats. Because we all do it every day. Just with those exercises alone, you can do a lot with those daily movements and habits.
Next, get yourself a pull up bar or some rings, you really can build a lean strong body with these two pieces of equipment. With rings, you can utilize harder variations of push- ups, dips, planks and bridges to build the core- etc.
Kettle Bells are great too, especially the swing, because it’s a total body movement that even throws in cardio at the same time.

A Real Escape- Why I seek it.

In recent years, probably a few times a month. I am filled with the desire to go rock climbing, skydiving or hiking. The interesting fact is, I’ve never done any of those things. So its not as though I could simply pick up and do any of those. I would love to though. Up until recently, these desires seemed so odd to me. Why would I suddenly want to do something, seemingly dangerous, that I have never done before?

Two reasons:
One- a sense of adventure and thrill.
Two- a way of escape.

With the sense of adventure, I believe that this stems from living with cerebral palsy all of my life, being confined to the same daily context. It’s not directly a bad thing. But there is a huge part of me that wants to break free and experience new things.

And with the way of escape, another catalyst to my sense of adventure is to find peace. Peace, away from daily drama, complaining and the like. When I was praying in the early hours of the morning, God revealed to me that my longing for escape, is much deeper. In fact, my longing for escape is much deeper than this world.

CS Lewis once wrote: “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.

I love these words, because they perfectly explain the longing in my body, mind and soul. I want to be in the arms of Christ. Because He is my peace and the real escape that I long for. When I am finally with Him, I will be able to do all the things that randomly spring up in my heart to do.

We Adapt. Or We Die.

I don’t believe that having a disability is a means to completely stop a person, from leading a great life. Be it mentally, physically or spiritually. I don’t. Sharing my story is something I do all the time. And if you know anything about me, you will know that I have had the deck stacked against me since day one.

Perhaps it’s because I had parents that pushed me in the direction that I am now, I’ve been at the bottom. For awhile I listened to all the negative crap that people spoke into my life. I let the words of people barrie me deep- in a pit of nonsense.

Again, if it wasn’t for my family pushing me to be more. I’m positive in knowing that I would still be in the hopeless place. I feel as though its my mission in life to tell people (especially those with disabilities). That they can be more, they don’t always have to listen to doctors, teachers or feel entrapped by their own disability.

For years, I hated my body, I didn’t think that my mind or body could improve. Yes, I will always have CP, but no it will not keep me from being the strongest and healthiest that I possibly can be. Yes, I still may have bouts with depression and anxiety but I will always rise.

Make the most of what you have. Work with what you got.

If you can only lift a certain about of weight, with one side of your body. That’s fine. If one side of your body is stronger, I can deal with that. If you don’t have much mobility in your lower body, there are ways to adapt to the context in which you find yourself. But staying in a mindset in which there is no growth: Mentally, physically or spiritually is equal to death.

Because if we do not choose to allow ourselves to grow, every single day. We will die without every really knowing who we are. We adapt. Or we die.