For the longest time I’ve wanted to write a book on manhood, but not just another book on manhood, but one that was directed to men that were living with cerebral palsy or otherwise. Why exactly? The reason is simple, there wasn’t anything in the market geared toward this particular people group. While I’ve read some awesome books on the subject, many of them have to do with the masculine man who can everyday things that a man is supposed to do. It was in this same season of life, that I became close with my friend John, via social media. We would talk as often as we could and when his health allowed. John not only had cerebral palsy, but severe chronic pain, his severity of cerebral palsy was unlike anything that my eyes have even seen. But the more we talked, the more he became like a brother to me, with were both Christian men, and did the best we could to pray and encourage each other.
Still though, what was being said to men like John? Even better what was the Church saying on this topic? You see it’s one thing to tell men to be brave, lead and provide for their families, but how do you do that if you are like my friend John? The obvious answer is that it’s not going to look the same. Of all my years of being a follower of Christ, I cannot remember one time where a pastor has spoken to this issue. At least not in protestant circles, however the late Henry Nouwen, who was a catholic spent time caring for men that were disabled in the form of a care giver. I can remember reading about how he would wake up and bathe and feed the men that were under his care, and when he would preach a sermon, he had a way of including those with disabilities into the service. The heart of Henry was remarkable, one that I wished spread throughout Christianity more.
As important as the topic of masculinity is, for me it was more important for men to know who they were in the eyes of God. For in my estimation, God is who makes men-men in the first place, as his image is upon us. The problem became, for me anyway, a wrestling match came between my flesh and inner convictions. What I mean is this, in the depths of who I am, there is a calling from God to tell others about him, yet the other side of my brain would tell me, that if only my mouth was shut up on the God topic maybe I’d make a lot more money. The words of Jordan Peterson come to mind in light of that battle, he says “when you have something to say, silence is a lie.” He’s exactly right, we lie to ourselves and others in the most disastrous of ways, when we choose to withhold words of truth that can be potentially life changing for others, regardless of how another person may perceive it. The other area of my life that has caused me to stumble in writing this book, is that I am not where I like to be in life, which who would want to take advice or wisdom from someone like that? In life we are suggested to take advice from someone that is living it out.
As of now, in this moment I am 37 years old and still in my parents’ house. My context of living is extremely complex. However, the general rule of thumb in life, is to take advice from someone who is living out what they should be doing and not trying to weave his way through the maze of his life. Still though, a fire burns below the layers of skin that cover this heart, a fire that can blaze the trail of a new discovery and journey in life. As it relates to fire, I’ve always been fascinated by the story of Moses in Exodus three. Moses was shepherding a flock on his way to mount Horeb, which was called the mountain of God. Suddenly an angel of the Lord appears to him in a fiery bush, he so consumed by it, he says “I must go over and look at this remarkable sight, why isn’t this bush burning up?” (Verse 4)
He has no idea how his life is about to change, God calls out from the burning bush “Moses, Moses!”
“Here I am” he responded
God then tells Moses to not come any closer, and to take off his sandals, because the ground he was standing on is holy. You might wonder, what makes ground holy? Nothing specifically makes it holy, except when God occupies the territory. It could also be implied, that the moment is holy, because Moses discovers the destiny that is laid before him. God says to him “I am sending you to Pharaoh so that you may lead my people, the Israelites, out of Egypt.” Before this, Moses was just an ordinary man, who was given an extraordinary calling. You also have an extraordinary calling inside you as a man, you might shake your fist and say “How!?” I can barely do anything for myself!”
Moses had a similar response, in chapter four, Moses says to God, 10 But Moses replied to the Lord, “Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent—either in the past or recently or since you have been speaking to your servant—because my mouth and my tongue are sluggish.”
But God responds to Moses with a pointed question:
“Who placed a mouth on humans?”
You may disqualify yourself from life because you have a speech impediment, you may disqualify yourself from life because you’re visually impaired, you may disqualify yourself because you must rely on others for care each day. Yet God see’s what you can be and will be even when we cannot see it ourselves. You may also spend large amounts of time and conclude that your life is over, and that there is no way of recovering semblance or meaning to your life. Abraham was seventy years old, before God called him to the unknown, away from his family, even though at his age he would be considered good for nothing. God still had some big promises and plans for him.
Moses and Abraham are not merely archetypes in which wisdom and lessons can be gleaned from, but they are people that were called from the ordinary to the unknown. Since reading and pondering the life of Abraham, I’ve sensed that calling to the unknown, which has brought upon a great sense of fear and excitement. Which is why, I’ve attempted to submit the following essays, because of the strong desire to let men like myself, know that they are worth more than they know, that they have purpose and that they can discover a destiny that can spend beyond what we can see in this life.
brandonleeryan 