Month: November 2021

Re-framing self defense

Psychology is a grossly over looked area of self -defense, if you look at the typical school that teaches any sort of combat art. The physical is the direct aim, already starting from the worst case scenario, meaning that someone is already choking you, punching you and so on. While we must start somewhere, I for one do not believe that this is the best approach. For me, as a martial arts instructor who has worked with nearly ever adaptive need, taught self-defense clinics to major colleges in my city, worked with retired military veterans, some law enforcement and even organizations such as DHHS. The one revelation that has kept coming to my mind year after year, is that real self-defense starts from the inside out.
Believe me, I know that this is extremely counter to what we are taught to in most schools today, because we just want to learn to kick ass. But honestly, we are not getting a very holistic approach. The most I’ve heard regarding awareness, is to simply “be aware” or have a 360 degree awareness at all times… Which is impossible to do. Telling someone to be aware is merely a way to cover a base, and doesn’t actually teach a student anything. What exactly are they being aware of? What are they looking at for? Do students actually know how handle and cope with emotional stimulus and stress?
Another reason that the psychology of self-defense goes untouched, is the narratives that coaches and or instructors provide. Some schools have weekend self-defense clinics, which are awesome and there can totally be some valuable elements taught. But the truth is, that one class isn’t all you need. It’s not going to make you a bad ass. If you are serious about self-defense, you must practice it the same way you want to get better at writing or math. One class, or once a month is not sufficient. There isn’t one technique that everyone must know and then your good. It doesn’t work that way. It never will. The other reality is this, most schools today do not specify to how fast and even complex a violent encounter is. Criminals simply do not care what you know, how long you’ve been training or anything of the sort. And so think that our modern training is going to prepare us in all areas is silly. Don’t miss understand me, MMA is a great base to learn self-defense, yet if we don’t know how to spot a threat, de-escalate a situation before it even starts, controlling our ego and emotions all we have is mere violence. Again, some martial arts schools only make this area worse, for example Krav t-shirts that say “touch me, and your first lessons free.” The saying truly gives off the vibe, as though you could take some Krav classes and kick anyone’s ass. Some of the BJJ community doesn’t help either, just the other day I saw a meme of a blackbelt, with his thumbs inside his belt looking all stoic. The Meme read “I’ve been doing BJJ 40 years. I fear no man.”.
I think that’s a bunch of nonsense. Any real person, is going to have a fear spike when a violent encounter takes place. Whatever the context may be. I’m fairly certain, that if you’re getting out of your car (with your kids in it) and the A typical person presses a knife to your throat. The likely hood of you having a sense of fear in that moment is extremely real. You might be fearing more for your offspring, and rightfully so. Perhaps this savage wants more than your car and money. Ever think about that? It’s in this context, that we must be able to rise above the ways of emotion and stress. How do we accomplish this? By training. I know that this might be hard to do, in some gyms that are more family oriented. Yet it doesn’t mean that in our self -defense training, we can’t train in a manner that prepares us for the real world.
We can practice training with heightened heart rate, being caught off guard and off balance. This is how life is, this is what it means to be human.
The self defense industry, is in serious need of an over haul. As mentioned earlier, if you’re serious about your own self-protection and even the safety of your loved ones. It’s up to you to start acting like it. It’s up to you to start training as though it actually matters. As coaches, instructors and the like. To start teaching and communicating to our tribes that it matters.

When the past haunts you

My past has been haunting me the last few days, or rather I should say, resurfacing. My stomach has been is shambles. A fire burning up my insides if you will. I’ve done so many stupid things in the past, the natural response is to say that we’ve all done things we regret or are not proud of. Yet when my own past come to my mind again, it has a way of making me feel like the worst, disgusting sinner alive. Life could be going smoothly, and then out of the blue a memory comes popping up. Usually a condemning state follows:

“Hey, remember when you did this and this? Yeah, you’re a real piece of ####” Then those same condemning statements, have a way of sinking down into the depths of me. Regardless of how much I try and shield them from attacking me so vigorously. So how do we begin to deal with these seeming random thoughts that come are way?

Well for one: We can Acknowledge them

What I mean is this, while it may be uncomfortable to do so. Acknowledging the thoughts is actually very useful. You can simply say, “yes that happened, and I hate that it did.” Now, the trick to acknowledging it, is also making sure that you’re not let down a spiral of inner destruction where we spend hours beating ourselves up. This of course, comes from someone that also fails at that as well.

I only share that, so people can learn from that mistake as well. It can be very difficult to find the balance, in accepting and acknowledging our sins and not completely mentally flogging ourselves. But it is needed.

Seek Forgiveness

Again this is not an easy route and often it requires a huge chunk of humility and letting go of ego and pride. The reason I say this, is because of the people in the world, who’s disposition is “I’d never seek forgiveness of anyone.” Which leads to its own consequences. Forgiveness is actually a pivotal role in healing and arriving at a place of peace. Forgiveness, may require actually approach the person you hurt, and seek their forgiveness. Now then, whether they grant you forgiveness or not, is not for you to decide. Perhaps, they will forgive in time. The fact and reality remains that you did your part. Forgiveness is not only good on a human to human level, but it is also good on a spiritual level as well. Knowing that God can not only forgive you of your sins, but in a great exchange gives you his righteousness. Thus, when the father God looks us, he does not see us in our sin.

Know Who You Really Are

You may have noticed, that I put a bit more emphasis on the forgiveness of God, rather than human forgiveness. Reason being is because another human, might not grant you forgiveness when asked for it. However, if a person comes to God with a contrite heart, and whole heartedly asks God for forgiveness, the beauty of the gospel is that God is not one to say no. What kind of God would he be, if he said no?

When you are forgiven in Christ, there is no condemnation for those who in Christ Jesus, the old has gone and new has come. Yes, there might very well be consequences as a result of our actions. That’s merely apart of living in this world. It will in fact, take some courage to face the past and make amends if possible, the difference is, is that you will not be alone in doing so. The spirit of God will be with you at all times.

Get Your Act Together
I’d like to end with this, the love and forgiveness of Christ, is not a free card to sin endlessly. No, it is a call to join the ongoing battle against the flesh and sin. It is a call to get your act together and be better than you once were. To submit the former self and way of living. It’s a chance to live for a higher calling and purpose. You don’t have to keep living as you once were, the shame of past regret does not have to define you. You can be a completely different person, with all new desires, hopes and dreams.

Health and Current Times

Imagine a world where all the power of change, in regards to our health actually existed… Guess what!? It does exist- and we as humans have every tool that we need to change. That might be a shock to some, but it is true none the less. We have the power to change. We have the ability to think, learn new skills and adapt to our surroundings.   It sounds simple enough.

But even I wasn’t always that way, especially when it came to my doctor. Especially when I was a kid, whatever my doctor said- was gospel. The thought of questioning my doctor in any way never ever crossed my mind. After all, they went to medical school and have a degree-or two. So the thought of questioning anything is almost sacrilegious.

In modern times , since becoming a health coach and obtaining a few other certs. As I’ve not only coached, but watched society. It seems as though that society has all but given up on their health. As though to say, we have given the power that we had and given it over to another. Now I realize that what I’m saying is scandalous and I honestly don’t mean it to be that way.

I’m not even saying be an ass or combat your doctor of everything, what I am saying is that, you have what it takes to be healthy. And you don’t have to spend a lot of money to do so. With moderate exercise and adequate nutrition, we can start to take back our health. If you are an over weight person, you don’t have to go crazy in the gym. Just start taking 3-20 minute walks every day, eat protein, eat some leafy greens and some berries, drink water and cut out the processed junk. Bingo!
Obviously, change takes time, but if you start the journey now, you will see results. The same goes for anyone, regardless of their goals. If you’re one that maybe has fear about going to the gym, that’s okay too and it’s not the end of the world. Your home or anywhere that you are at can become your gym. You can do body weight exercises, use a kettle bell, resistance bands and so on. You can build muscle, fortify your immune system, attack body fat and become the healthiest person you can be.

That should be everyone’s goal.
The goal should be to keep you out of the doctors office. (not because all doctors are evil)
The goal should be to change life style, not medicine-medicine-medicine.
Guess what!? We can do all of that today. We can take the power back!