Month: March 2020

How To Be A Bad Ass Human Being

Tips For Being A Bad Ass Human Being

Human beings are amazing, we can do so much with our bodies and minds every single day of our lives. My own existence is something that I simply do not thank God for on a regular. Rather I piss-moan and groan about how much my life sucks. Anyone who knows anything about my own story, knows that the deck was stacked against me. And yet, by the grace of God I have gone onto obtain multiple degrees and certifications. Even though doctors told me I would always be dependent on others, and even though educational professionals told me I didn’t have what it took to attend university. We human beings have forgotten how beautiful our own existence is, we have lost sight of the fact that we can all be bad asses in our own right. So what are a few tips to become that person?

Finding Your Mental Resolve: We don’t like to hear this, but the only way we truly find our resolve, the only we become mentally and emotionally tougher is through hardship and challenges. Some of us have had very tough and painful lives, and because of that, it’s easy to feel defeated and buried under the ashes of life. Yet, we have forgotten that we can rise from those ashes. I am not always a believer of pulling up oneself by their boot straps. Though, at times in life, you will have to do that. Much more I am a believer of being shaped and allowing yourself to be molded and mentored by other people who truly care about you. I am eternally grateful that God gave me parents who not only told me I was strong, but showed me I was. I am also thankful that God let me experience all the suffering in my life. I’m thankful that he led me through the valley of death. Because it made me who I am today. Find the good in your life, face the darkness in your own life, try more and more every day, to not listen to the lies in your mind any longer. Suffering comes for us all, in different ways throughout our lives. As such, we should always have our armor ready when the fight comes, in the name of not being blindsided by an attack. Some of us are so comfortable with our own comfort, that the slightest bit of adversity sends us packing. Learn to be steady and calm and adversity, because the storm always passes.

Enjoy Solitude: This is art form, I have been working on more and more in my life. I have come to love solitude, by myself and without distraction. Some of us are afraid to be alone with our own thoughts, have to always be doing something. But there’s really happiness and healing, in being able to be still, and see what resonates inside us. It’s in the stillness of the night, that we can discover who we are, what we have to work on and where we want to go. It was in the solitude of my heart, that I discovered that the creator of the heavens and earth was drawing me to himself, he was making me a new creation, a strong soldier and a seeker of how he sees me. Get comfortable being your own company, interact with the thoughts in your own mind, no matter how dark and uncomfortable they may be. Get a journey, write things down, it could be a method of healing from trauma, holding yourself accountable for goals. Our biggest problem in society, is that we are constantly seeking information outward and we are not spending enough time discovering who we are and how bad ass we can be. Start seeking solitude today, even if you’re a parent, find time early in the morning, or even for a few minutes before bed. Take stock of your life. You will be better because of it.

Listen To Others: I’ve always been more of a listener than talker, and I honestly like it that way. Listening to others should be pretty self-explanatory, but some of us talk so much and we don’t listen enough. When we do that, we miss out on being teachable. We miss out on exercising empathy and compassion for others, who might be in a time of darkness. With utilizing our ability to listen, rather than speak. We have a better chance at showing others a light covered path to hope.

Become The Healthiest You: This will look different for each person, because we all have different abilities. But we all could be a bit, or even a lot more healthier in our lives. As a personal trainer and nutrition coach, I haven’t worked with a lot of people with different abilities. The reoccurring theme, with working with a wide variety of clients, is that if you commit to the process of getting better each day, with proper nutrition and exercise you will see results. Yes, things take time, but that’s the beauty of it, in that we get to embrace the process and see the small changes gradually. The instant gratification that we crave with our health and the rest of our lives isn’t real. Nutrition and fitness are two categories of life that have been made overall complicated. As a whole, I feel that quite a few us could do much better, by saying no to a lot of processed foods, and yes to more water, protein, and some fruits and vegetables if you like them. (I’m not convinced that we need them and function fully).
In terms of fitness, you don’t always have to have a gym membership. Nor do you have to go balls to wall for hours on end. I did CrossFit for a number of years, and as much as I love it. Not all your workouts have to be that intense to get a good workout in. If you’re new to the world of fitness, I suggest taking a few 10 minute walks every day, (gradually work your way to a jog) while starting to master the push up (even if it’s on your knees) along with other variations and challenges to pushups as you go along. And mastering a good squat form- in different variations, weighted and single legged squats. Because we all do it every day. Just with those exercises alone, you can do a lot with those daily movements and habits.
Next, get yourself a pull up bar or some rings, you really can build a lean strong body with these two pieces of equipment. With rings, you can utilize harder variations of push- ups, dips, planks and bridges to build the core- etc.
Kettle Bells are great too, especially the swing, because it’s a total body movement that even throws in cardio at the same time.

A Personal Maxim For Personal Protection

The ADM (Adaptive Defense Methods) Maxim For Personal protection:

https://www.facebook.com/adaptivedefensemethods/

Three words came to me, as I was lying in bed the other night, searching for my own personal approach for understanding stages of violence. Many people have their own methods, discussing the same overarching principles. This personal maxim is really nothing new, but an alternative way to look at personal safety through out our lives. Anyone who follows or trains under the ADM school of thought, must commit this to memory and have a deep understanding of each stage. Below is a break- down of each. Remember- we can talk about /train ranges of combat and various techniques, but what good is it, if we have no sense of mastery over our surroundings or ourselves?

Identity this largely has to deal with spotting a threat, or a potential context that is off setting to us inwardly. Example being if a place looks suspicious to you, and sends red alert signals throughout your person. It is up to us to pay great attention to that signal. The same goes for any person that you don’t know, or even in the context of a close relationship. If we learn to pay attention to the signals/red alerts throughout our lives, we can save ourselves a lot of unneeded pain and physical harm done to us. Next is being able to identify pre-confrontational postures, before things escalate any further. In real time, this means practically speaking, that if you see someone at a gas station looking uneasy, while trying to hide their identity. Chances are this person has zero good intentions in mind. In those contexts, ones best option is to find a way to flee, find a position where danger is not directly upon you or others. Or lastly, taking some sort of action against the threat. Another part of identifying, is being able to understand the body language of another person, in a close proximity. This means that one might not have the ability to walk away, or create distance due to having limited mobility, being in a wheel chair or using crutches. Simple signs to look for are:

I.I.D.

Looking away
Stroking facial hair
Bladed posture
Hands/hand in pocket, behind back or pouch of hoodie. This can mean that the person you are in close proximity with is agitated and either getting ready to attack with either empty hands or with the use of a weapon.

This leads into the Interact phase, which calls for a person to truly know themselves and notice the red alert signals mentioned above. Again, many times we ignore the red alert warnings in life, because we don’t want to assume the worst about a place or location, often times this leads us to say to ourselves in the end I wish I would have listened to that little something inside me, that told me to take precaution. Or better yet- Leave. Learning to not only interact with ourselves and interact with the intention of others will only lead us to a more richer and fuller understanding of ourselves but the world around us. When we learn to interact with the various warning signs and intentions of others, we can then learn to discern whether is an actual threat or if that person is simply having a bad day. Sometimes a person is just having a bad day, or has a particular need and the only way they know how to meet that need is through the threat of violence. This is where it becomes exceedingly curial to become a black belt in verbal grappling. Learning how to talk our way out of potential violent situations, talking a person down, acting with empathy and concern. This is also a balance, because you can’t afford to let your guard down either. Moreover, not every encounter/situation calls for a violent ending. It is much better to try and seek a peaceful ending first, before ever entering into defensive mode.

Defeat: this is not to be taken into a negative connotation, but rather a positive one. Defeat simply means doing all we can to defeat the situation and go home safety. This includes the first two areas of the I.I.D. maxim. When we can identify and interact with any stimulus, that constitutes the health and safety of not only ourselves. We have brought a successful defeat to the situation. The defeat phase, brings us to the point where physical action/violence comes to play: Within the context of the law and the context of the situation/disparity of force.
If as an abled-bodied person, if someone shoves you, the simple and direct action would be to use very commands- drawing attention to one’s self, next- dissipating the energy of the shove, if it repeated. Taking control of the attackers limbs, controlling them until help/authorities arrive. If the situation is someone who has limited mobility or is in a wheelchair/ uses any form of assistive device. Then the disparity of force levels up, to the use of chokes, strikes and implementation of weapons. Lethal force escalates for an abled bodied person, when more than one attacker is involved or a weapon comes into play. Thus, a person can do what is needed to defeat the situation and get away.

A Real Escape- Why I seek it.

In recent years, probably a few times a month. I am filled with the desire to go rock climbing, skydiving or hiking. The interesting fact is, I’ve never done any of those things. So its not as though I could simply pick up and do any of those. I would love to though. Up until recently, these desires seemed so odd to me. Why would I suddenly want to do something, seemingly dangerous, that I have never done before?

Two reasons:
One- a sense of adventure and thrill.
Two- a way of escape.

With the sense of adventure, I believe that this stems from living with cerebral palsy all of my life, being confined to the same daily context. It’s not directly a bad thing. But there is a huge part of me that wants to break free and experience new things.

And with the way of escape, another catalyst to my sense of adventure is to find peace. Peace, away from daily drama, complaining and the like. When I was praying in the early hours of the morning, God revealed to me that my longing for escape, is much deeper. In fact, my longing for escape is much deeper than this world.

CS Lewis once wrote: “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.

I love these words, because they perfectly explain the longing in my body, mind and soul. I want to be in the arms of Christ. Because He is my peace and the real escape that I long for. When I am finally with Him, I will be able to do all the things that randomly spring up in my heart to do.