I want to go on a journey of self-mastery.
I want to be in better control of my thoughts and emotions.
I want to say goodbye bye to childish behavior.
I want to know truth self-confidence.
I want to know what it’s like to live with insecurity and fear.
I want to disconnect
I want to know adventure and freedom.
Lord help me on this journey- on knowing what is to be a man.
My first book: The Emotional Struggle, is now an internationally known book. As it is currently making it’s way to Ireland!
If you haven’t read it yet, please feel free to do so. Here is also a recent review:
read this book. This book is raw and open about the life of Brandon and his struggle with his “disability” and his walk with Jesus and IT WAS PHENOMENAL!!! i will journey to the next book you wrote!! I loved your complete honesty and all of your quotes, it literally opened my eyes to how your perception of how people look at you and how you have felt and probably still feel. Life is literally a persecution when you love and live for Christ, regardless if we backslide a bit or not, we all do. But dang, I LOVED THIS BOOK! -Carla Vice
Purchase copy here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1434348113/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=31933057530&hvpos=1t1&hvnetw=s&hvrand=9081708957811739779&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=e&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1023191&hvtargid=kwd-6817054661&ref=pd_sl_jr1dfs8fm_e
As a person who has lived with cerebral palsy for thirty-two years, my heart has in particular gone out to those with special needs. Be it mental or physical, I can remember being in junior high and asking for permission to leave my last class, just so I could go down to the special needs classroom and help in any way that I could.
I loved these kids, I’ll never forget how some of their faces would light up whenever I would come into the classroom. It saddened me that they had to have their own classroom away from the rest of the school, but that’s another entry all in itself. These kids were like my own, they were a part of me it seemed. It takes people with big and calm hearts to work with them because it can be very taxing mentally and physically.
I have always felt protective of these people, and probably will until the day I die. In the last few days, I have lost my mind over the fact that four black young adults kidnapped a white man with special needs, they beat and toured him. All because he apparently supported Donald trump. I was angry and wanted to get my hands on each person involved.
Personally, I think that the book should be thrown at them, the same way the book SHOULD have been thrown and the two white idiots that assaulted a young man with special needs and happened to be black. Both sides should have had equal consequence, but being that we live in a fallen world, our justice system does not run as well oiled as it should and that truly frustrates me.
As human beings, created in the image of God (Genesis 1) we should rage against this evil acts regardless of political, racial, social and sexual orientation. Quite simply, there should be the same reaction of disgust from either side, not finding ways to lessen what was done in the name of hate. Furthermore, CNN should be ashamed of themselves for allow reporter Sara Ganim to laugh at what was done to the white young man with special needs. Shame on you CNN!
American people wake the fuck up! Our actions on either side are only making this country worse. When are we going to stop fighting against each other? When are we going to come to the realization that political and social issues are only a smokescreen for the real problem, our hearts?
The sooner we realize this the better.. But until we do, we will continually be sucked deeper and deeper into ourselves.
My doubts concerning faith and God have been like a tornado, meaning that sometimes it touches down and destroys nothing. Other times when it touches down it takes out everything in its way. Doubt is paralyzing, it takes all my energy away and often it is like I can’t breathe or move. Fear seems far too real and sometimes it’s all that seems to be present in my life. I have doubted everything from the existence of God to supposed contradictions within scripture. Most of the things that most every Christian has dealt, but few admit. Most of my doubt, however, seems to have stemmed from the number of friends that have left the faith, after going to grace university. Most of whom I have had close ties with. Furthermore, most of my family does not hold my same convictions, and so I have had great anxiety about their eternal states.
I have longed prayed for their salvation, but have had little answer. I ask you, though, does that then make God unfaithful? Personally, I do not think so, if God is the author of life and death, he can do as He wishes. In no way, does he have to act as we so desire or will. Many times are view of God is so skewed and short sided that we fail to see the big picture. As it relates to suffering, most get so caught up in the emotion and aftermath, that it can be hard to see any further. But God sees a lot further than any of us. One way that scripture seems the most real and relevant, is that the people in the Bible are no strangers to pain and questions. In some ways, that should help loosen the tight grip around our chests that prevent us from breathing freely and with joy.
Literally, everyone in the Bible has questioned and screamed at God. Everyone has battled with different anxieties and seasons of depression. I highly suggest the readings of Spurgeon, that guy suffered from doubt and depression at length, and still, he came out on the other side with more joy and pleasure and Gods presence than ever before. I can’t tell you how this will play out for you, but I can tell you that I believe that God will bless you and keep you and that his faith will shine upon you. I only pray and ask that you cling to Him, as the woman did that suffered from internal bleeding for numerous years. You can trust Him; he will never leave you nor forsake you. He has overcome the world and is bigger than our doubt and pain. This journey will not be an easy one, it takes prayer, praise, community and most importantly time. You must be willing to prayerfully start working through many of your questions and doubts.
In the words of Pastor Matt Chandler: “A mature Christian is one who runs to God and not from God.” I am not if you are not spiritually mature. However, I am saying that there is freedom to run to God with your heavy heart. As many skeptics would tell you to simply disavow your beliefs, the same way Job’s wife said “forsake God and die” but despite that he clung to God and worshiped God in the end. You too can make through this grim and nasty storm. In Christ care and mercy, I know you will be okay, you only must be willing to keep your feet moving behind him, believing that He will take care of your every need and heal every ache and wound.
In Christs love and compassion.
-Brandon
PS, He loves you so madly, He is so crazy about you. He is a roaring lion that will fight away every demon and spiritual stronghold.
brandonleeryan 