It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything, I’m still having a lot of ups and downs in regards to porn. But I’m not beating the crap out of myself each and every time. I find myself longing for love. Real love.
For someone to love me and tell me it’s going to be okay, that I’m not my failures. It just seems so hard to find. Yes, I know that the God, but I still long for a wonderful woman in my life. One who builds me up, encourages and fights for me.
The other night I was coming back from the gym, when I had the inclination to pray with the president of our college. We shared some things that were going on in each others lives. I told him about the longings that were in my heart. As he was praying for me he spoke something that I have never heard before in my years of following Jesus.
He said “I ask that you would send a wonderful woman into Brandon’s life sooner rather than later.” Wow.. Mind blown. While he also prayed that I would feel the Lord’s love deep inside of my soul. I had never heard those words spoken and claimed before. I have always heard loads of other daily cliches. And while I claim that promise in my life, I know I have a lot to do on myself, but you know what? I’m okay with that.